Sunday, April 3, 2022

Ava n°01Ar20*1

I will tell you a story; but not just any story, a story that had changed the course of my life. After a sleep that had seemed to be more than a century, this is to tell you that I had no longer any notion of the time, nor of what date we were then. I found myself sitting on the edge of this bed which was not mine, I couldn't have explained it to you at that time, besides who could I talk to? it seemed to me to have been alone, no sign of a living soul around me, only the sound of a television screen in the background ... accompanied by a feeling of having suffered something ... intense headache had prevented me from thinking deeply. Flashes had occurred from time to time as if to try to give me clues about my identity. I had observed this reflection which was me, a woman with short blond hair, black eyes lost in this emotionless face with a body dressed in a silky outfit. A silhouette that I had seen through this massive glass window which overlooked into a stormy sea set with waves that washed up on immense vertiginous rocks on which rested this transparent cell. A glass cell where I had been imprisoned. While trying to get up, I noticed that I no longer felt my arm and that my fingers were guided by an external force. Indeed, my arm was an alloy of iron and flesh dressed in microlights, each movement of my fingers had transferred alpha-coded informations to a reading screen grafted to my retina. I had no control over myself, I was nauseous at the thought of what had happened to my own body. I was definitely detained in this glass prison, but for what reason? I was overcome by fear, doubts, endless questions ... But there had been a goal to this chaos. I had become the first humanoid woman after I suffered a terrible car accident. Scientific research had since created other prototypes much more efficient. 


There was nothing left of the village that I once left behind. Absolutely everything was shattered, a fog mixed with the dust that kept swirling. There were still hot ashes in the air, like hopeless fireflies, flickering desperately. Along this phantom ground littered what remained of the bodies ... dismantled, shredded, a nauseating odour of putrefying viscera. Death had taken hold of all those souls, no more signs of life or perhaps faint moans that died away in the distance. War had raged in Volgograd; our village had been the scene of heavy fighting during the Russian Civil War, initially in the hands of the Bolsheviks. Our village was one of the deadliest battles of Stalingrad in history, during which it was virtually wiped out. On June 13th, 1919, I was just about twenty years old, I was called; лександра Михайловна Коллонтай; Anastasia Poltrovich, supposedly I would have been the great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria! I had been taken by mistake as a nurse, for me this had been for certain clemency from the good Lord. The victim at 11 years old of forced marriage, beaten and raped, you will certainly understand this sort of mercy. My almost transparent skin always attracted men, besides I was the crush of all the soldiers, they called me ‘sunshine’ with an accent that sounded like ‘son chat’ in French. Fortunately, my almond-shaped blue eyes couldn't bear witness to what they had seen, you could almost see through them the scarred images of human hinges also the smells still stuck in the depths of my thin nostrils. One thing was certain I took care of my blonde and wavy hair that I braided and hid under a cap with the initials AP, a big frock and white apron hid thankfully my body, we were those white angels who were supposed to take care and comfort the soldiers. Chin high despite my small height, I was gradually given the responsibility of the pharmacy and so I began my own battle, revenge by administering deadly painkillers to wounded Russian soldiers. The physical appearance of Russian women was not the deciding factor when it came to attracting men. Russian women had something more that helped them to win men's hearts not only in Russia! This precious thing was a "mysterious Russian soul" according to загáдочная рýсская душá. So let's just say that I had become the angel of death dressed in white. I had tattooed on my breast just above my heart 'to correct an injustice, requires great efforts'. I was a resistance fighter who had to avenge her own. 


Mrs A.E. Pozeïsky.

I was there letting the fresh air envelop me, stroking my gorgeous crochet, lace-up death gown, letting it nibble what was left of my cheeks in that icy subway corridor where I could feel absolutely all the human vibes and those of others. This hallway had been mine for centuries. I had seen a lot of people pass by, between those who crossed me and those to whom I played some of my tricks to fill the boredom. That day, I had been challenged by three beings, but something that I still cannot explain to this day had drawn me towards her… A young girl for whom I felt an unexplained closeness… a connection… energy that was familiar to me. What was happening to me? There she was, her face trying to disappear into the collar of that grotesque outfit that I could not name you, layers of odd clothes that showed nothing, her hands sunk into the sides, her blank gaze gripping the floor. While watching her, a voice kept repeating to me. "you know her ... come closer to her ..." Suddenly I found myself dancing around her, I twirled like a merry-go-round without brakes, an uncontrolled excitement, I started buzzing around her... to look at her in the green of her eyes ... eyes that I somehow knew… How come this could happen? As I could cross all the elements and all the materials I allowed myself to read inside her thin engraved medallion:

A.E. Pozeïsky * 15 * 12 * 1872
"In our hearts forever you stay
To my mother 
To you that I love so much. 
Here lies an angel I will never forget you
Love never dies. The earth hides you but my heart still sees you " 
To my amazement, I wondered ... why this young child had a part of me ...
Who was she? I was inconsolable, whispering to her: "who are you, beautiful child?"